Thursday, July 13, 2006

Bless his hairy arse

The PR Monkey has given old Mr Bad Hack a plug (in fact, two).

I'm happy to stick the stories up as long as you, the British public, send them in.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Kewney v. Goma...who's your money on?

First of all, my apologies...Mr Bad Hack's been away; the following post was sent a couple of days ago.
So the hee-hee-larious guy Kewney episode has a darker side. Now that he's won oblique worldwide fame (albeit for not appearing on a TV programme) Guy Kewney is desperately lapping up the attention and posting articles that say he admires Guy Goma, the man who inadvertantly took his place:

"Watch his incredible recovery, and his determination to show that this may be a complete surprise to him, but that he can out-Kewney any darned NewsWireless Editor if he has to."

But in his initial post on his website Kewney was furious about the mix-up and said that unlike Guy Goma he wasn't an "ignoramous" who "cant speak english". He also stressed many times to (un)comic effect that he wasn't black, and mused that he should maybe sue the BBC for denying him his moment of fame.

Typical behaviour from this most miserable of hacks? Has anyone got any good Kewney stories that prove otherwise or provide more evidence of cantankerous behaviour?

As one of the people on Guy Kewney's cheap'n'cheerful site's message board so succinctly put it: "Reguardless of your backtracking now Guy Kewney, you are still a prize dickhead."

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Over the edge

A while back I had the misfortune of having to pitch to the rather small UK Call Centre press. It was one of those things – when I saw a Call Centre publication people were taking the piss out of on Have I Got News For You I considered, once again, a career change but no matter.

The hack in question, a writer for one of theleading call centre pubs in the space (with a bit of a continental focus – draw your own conclusions) had committed to a briefing with my client some weeks previously. Given his obvious unreliability, I had confirmed this several times and foolishly assumed that all was well. It wasn’t.

On my final chase before the date, I made the mistake of calling again. Oh dear. The hack had an intoxicated nervous breakdown at me, revealing many personal issues in which I was wholly uninterested for nearly half an hour. Holding back laughter, I IMed my Ad who quite correctly suggested that I ‘go with the mood’.

I was able to extricate myself from the insane monologue in question by saying, ‘Yes, I can tell youare unwell. Best to tell them you are ill and can’t make the briefing’ and left it at that. Can’t think of a better training exercise.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Split personality

I am writing to you as I am very concerned about the mental health of a senior, veteran technology hack. I am witnessing signs of multiple personalities and wonder if he might need to seek help?

This seasoned IT freelance hack has a well known reputation amongst the PR fraternity as being ‘Mr Nasty’ - unnecessarily miserable and incredibly rude. For years, he has hung up on and shouted at both experienced and junior PRs alike. We’ve all become used to Mr Nasty, his bad manners and un-professionalism, however recently he’s started to show signs of instability. First of all, I just thought it was a change for the better. This hack developed a second personality – Mr Nice.

He started sending PR’s polite emails and even an invite to a party – where he was paying for the food and drink. What a nice chap, I thought. Perhaps he’s feeling repentant? Or perhaps he is so happy that he’s launched a training company for PR people that he just can’t keep his happiness to himself? Either way, who am I to be cynical about it? I embraced this new found loving.

But, just as there was me getting used to Mr Nice, up pops Mr Nasty again yesterday (30 March) on UK Press, ranting about some poor PR agency (no I don’t work for them) and calling it ‘rubbish’ and questioning its professionalism. It’s not nice to be named and shamed amongst a community is it? Could this split personality syndrome be caused by the pressure of having to be Mr Nice in the run up to tonight’s launch party?

Such a shame when you base your business model on a community of professionals that you just can’t stand. My advice to him would be to keep taking the pills!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

At the moviezzzzz

Thought that you'd be interested on hearing about a leading Canadian film critic who is a notoriously loud snorer. Suffice to say, the sight of Scarlet Johnasson wasn't enough to keep his attention for too long and 30 minutes into the Canadian premiere of 'Lost in Translation' said film critic was snoring away in the back row. No one was surprised, but all those present were shocked to read the review of the film which raved about the subtlety and texture in the film and then proclaimed it a shoe-in for film of the year.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The story is all that matters

Doing an interview a couple of months back for a internet roaming client. Conference call went really well - journo was interested and asked all the right questions. V. happy client. Called back to check with journo that he had got all he needed and if there was anything else I could do. Journo replies, "No, I have all the responses I need. Sorry if I drifted off in the middle of the conversation..." Intrigued depsite mayself, I ask why. "Well, I had my children's guinea pigs in my lap during the call, and halfway through they wee'd all over me."

Don't know whether I should be envious of the home-working or be astonished at the fact that he spent a further 10 minutes sitting in rapidly cooling guinea pig urine just to get the story...

Saturday, March 04, 2006


A colleague tells me that after a lunch meeting at which this cheeky tech hack had ordered "ver lott" with extra trimmings and guzzled an extraordinary volume of German wine, his straight-laced Amercian client was given a bit of a shock. The hack produced a selection of soft-porn which he claimed were shots of his girlfriend. Cackling with glee the hack showed the client the entire tastefully shot album, and then burbled off to the loo.

The PR returned to the office ashen-faced to recount the sorry tale only to learn from a colleague that he'd got off lightly - last time he'd been similarly entertained the hack made a case to a client that he should furnish him with the funds for a call girl... hopefully one that provided receipts. What a bad hack!